Seven years ago I didn't want to be here anymore. Although it wasn't that I didn't want to be alive, it's that the version of me that I had become had to die.
I heard about a concept called "Ikigai" and looked back in the previous forty years of my life and looked for all the times I had felt my soul was fulfilled.
LEGO, Film, TV, Comedy, Entrepreneurialism, Writing and Mental Health.
As one of the Camp Mum's at Splore Festival I had the crazy idea of getting a Bus full of LEGO and driving it around sharing creativity and enthusiasm for learning and art with people.
My personal mental health crisis peaked and my world exploded into bits and pieces. My marriage, my business, my kids homelife.
I had an idea in my head that I couldn't shift, I could see a way I could create the perfect job for my ADHD brain that would serve all the creative requirements I had. Only problem is most people thought I was nuts.
I started my first workshop at the BizDojo in Wellington. Grab Life by the Bricks was drafted and tested with a bunch of Shopify folks. I even had a survey measuring positive mental health outcomes to prove the concept.
A friend of mine who was working for tranzurban asked me if I'd ever thought about driving buses. I don't believe in coincidence and I needed my licenses. So I drove double-decker buses around the streets of Wellington for two years.
I was home for my son's birthday in March when 3 days later lock down happened. I remember Facebook getting a lot busier and I took it upon myself to cheer myself up by cheering up all you lot.
After Lockdown lifted I ended up working at Harvey Norman New Zealand until one day while visiting the doctor for constipation they diagnosed me with Lymphoma. 6 months of chemo later and still reeling from whatever the hell had just happened to me.
An ad came up on Facebook asking if I wanted to be a LEGO Master. My first thought was "Only all my freaken life!" I called my mate Daniel Mulholland because much like me he has a big mouth and isn't afraid to speak his mind. We had relatable mental health stories and we thought we'd give it a crack.
Three years ago today we were packing our bags getting ready to head to Auckland to compete in NZ Season One LEGO Masters.
The day the roller door opened for the first time, I remember turning to Dan and saying "Pinch me." The word that leapt to mind was "Surreal." The smoke, the door, the studio, Dai Henwood, Robin Sather lights, cameras and more bricks than I'd ever seen.
It was a dream come true!
All I ever wanted to do was show my boys they could do what they loved if they believed hard enough. They had seen me at one of the worst states I had ever been, and I really needed them to see me at my best.
Somehow Dan and I touched the hearts and minds of Aotearoa in a way I am still trying to fathom and come to terms with. When Smudge turned up on set it was the most watched moment on NZ TV since the "Don't blow on the pie." Moment. "Nek minute." We make NZ TV History.
My last words I said on the show were.
"Everything is Awesome when you are part of a team, and you Grab Life by the Bricks."
Since LEGO Masters I have been to all four corners of the land and met amazing talented humans from all walks of life. Thank you. I am so grateful. It is a strange experience having people treat you like a member of their family.
Mostly I have appreciate how many of you feeling comfortable that we shared our stories on TV, you decided to share your stories with me. Thank you. I have been trying to get my head around this mental health thing for seven years.
Every story you have shared has helped me understand the depth and breadth of the mental health crisis. I didn't anticipate this was going to become such novel.
I have not forgotten my original mission, I want to get a bus, load it full of bricks and travel Aotearoa playing LEGO with people. Now it's no longer a pipe dream. I have acquired the skills and reputation to be able to create my dream.
In much the same vein as my father and grandfather before me, I'd like to restore a piece of NZ heritage and prepare it for the future.
Does anyone remember the old NZR Bedford buses? I stepped into one recently and it reminded me so much of an old rail car carriage I realised I'd found my bus.
I want to do something a wee bit different than the WA 165. I want to recreate it as an electric bus (like the one's I drove in Wellington). Load it full of LEGO and drive all over inspiring creativity, storytelling, STEAM learning (pun definitely intended) and supporting our neurodiverse wayfarers as they traverse the incredible future they have in front of them.
The world has too many critics and not enough cheerleaders.
Do you guys want to come cheerleading with me?
